As Dumb as a Duck

The piercingly unintelligent gaze of our drake.

The ducks at their little hideaway on the brook.

The expression "as dumb as a duck" is not a colloquialism in the English language as far as I know. That is a great pity because ducks are some of the dumbest animals I have ever encountered. Cute perhaps, but their overriding quality seems to be dumbness. Our ducks, for example, refuse to go out on our 1/2 acre pond. The same pond that was the main motivation for us to get ducks. We imagined seeing the cute little creatures serenely cruising across the pond, lending a wonderful touch to our little bucolic paradise. The 4 Rouen ducks we have, unfortunately, appear to be hydrophobes. O.K., that's a little harsh. They're not afraid of all water. For example, they will splash around all day in the 2 gallon kitchen basin we used to leave out as drinking water. The million gallon pond? Not so much. They have also found a secluded spot along the brook where they like to hang out, and of course the brook is made up primarily of water. They can even float for 2 or 3 whole feet along this stretch of brook if they tuck their feet up real tight. In another sign of limited IQ, the ducks also appear to believe they are chickens. They don't sleep with the chickens, they don't look like chickens and they don't hang out with the chickens all day. But leave the chickens closed up in their run and the ducks will hang out by the gate wondering why their compadres have been singled out for such harsh treatment. If they knew what has already happened to a couple of the chickens (eaten by yours truly) they might not be so anxious to hang out with them. Anyway, we've got the darn things now and I admit they are much too cute to, how can I say this delicately, turn into 'canard a l'orange', so we'll just have to put up with them. For the time being anyway.